


Not Afraid to Fall

by Kawaiicoyote



Category: Teen Wolf (TV)
Genre: Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Goodbyes, Grief/Mourning, Hurt/Comfort, Mates, Other, Polyamory, Psychic Bond, Sacrifice, Threesome - F/M/M, slight gore
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-12-22
Updated: 2012-12-22
Packaged: 2017-11-22 00:48:07
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,340
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/603971
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Kawaiicoyote/pseuds/Kawaiicoyote
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Her mates are dying right before her eyes. Only one can be saved and only she can make the choice.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Not Afraid to Fall

**Author's Note:**

  * For [GeeGollyWiz13](https://archiveofourown.org/users/GeeGollyWiz13/gifts).



> Story idea all thanks to GeeGollyWiz13.   
> Title name is from a movie line I remember where the character was always afraid of dying because he was afraid of falling into the dark. Until when he was actually dying and then he wasn't afraid anymore. It makes sense to me right now.
> 
> I own nothing.  
> Unbeta'd so all mistakes are mine.

She feels her composure unraveling at the seams by the time she steps through the doors at Deaton’s veterinary clinic, blatantly ignoring the “sorry we’re closed” signs.

She feels shaky, and like her lungs can’t draw in enough breath. She feels like she’s drowning with no relief in sight.

Stiles had been the one to call her. Lydia will never forget the chilling calm of his voice. How he’d told her to sit down and not to freak out. And then he’d told her about the attack.

Rogue hunters on the Hale land, disrupting their routine training exercises, and just opening fire on them. Complete rookies with no disregard of the precious code that Chris Argent had forced them to abide by.

The majority of the pack had been hit. The majority of the pack was fine now. But Stiles voice, calm as it may be, still shook as he told her she needed to get down to Deaton’s fast.

Derek waits for her just outside the examination room. His face is pulled into a frown, skin ashen and eye holding so much sorrow in them as he looks her dead in the eye.

Her stomach drops and knees shake with each step she takes towards him.

When they’re standing toe to toe Derek still hasn’t moved from the door. He’s like a somber statue, unyielding from his spot.

“Let me through,” Lydia whispers, voice shaking with barely controlled tears. She doesn’t want to show such weakness, because Lydia Martin is a fighter, and far from weak.

Derek’s arms uncross and then he’s laying a hand on her shoulder, squeezing just the tiniest bit. The Alpha swallows and abruptly glances at the door behind him, obviously having heard something from the room within that her ordinary hearing can’t pick up.

When he looks back at her she knows it’s bad. Knows that whatever he’s about to tell her is about to shatter her whole world around her. She balls her hands into fists at her side. She can take this.

“Lydia,” Derek says his voice so soft it startles her. It’s a voice that the Alpha rarely uses, even with Stiles it’s a rarity. “I’m not going to sugarcoat this. Things are bad. Things are really bad and time is against us.”

A pained whimper leaves her treacherous lips and Derek’s eyes soften. She doesn’t like it, or the way his own eyes are glassy and red rimmed. She doesn’t like it one bit.

“Tell me,” Lydia grits out from clenched teeth. It’s taking everything in her not to fall apart and she doesn’t even know what’s going on yet. It’s like Derek’s fingers are tugging at a Band-Aid, drawing out the inevitable pain when she just wants to yank it off and get it over with, to deal with the pain she knows is bound to come.

Derek nods, looks away, and takes a steadying breath before looking back up at her. “The pack was targeted by the rogue hunters. Each of them used wolfs bane bullets. Most everyone was able to get the treatment to reverse the bullets effects…”

Derek trails off and Lydia’s face scrunches in confusion. “Well then just give them the same treatment! It’s not rocket science Derek.” She hisses accusingly at the Alpha who lets loose a snarl, eyes flashing blood red a moment before a hand touches his shoulder.

It’s startles both he and Lydia to see Stiles standing there, neither of them having seen him come out of the examination room.

“Derek, chill.” Stiles shifts from foot to foot before awkwardly taking Lydia’s hand in his and pulling her to the side. Lydia doesn’t even try to resist, and lets him pull her to the side, to where she notices is closer to the wall of chairs.

Stiles hand is warm in hers. An anchor to hold onto and keep her grounded even as she feels the very last of herself unraveling.

His normally vibrant and lively brown eyes look haunted, old before his time. Lydia feels herself trembling already.

“Peter and Jackson, they were the last ones left Lydia,” Stiles trails off, looks guilty even. “Everyone else had been so busy getting treatments to one another. Gathering the bullets and lighting them up, we didn’t notice…” His voice catches and he’s clutching Lydia’s hand just as hard as she is to his.

“Stiles, please tell me.” Her voice is barely above a whisper.

“When we got to Peter and Jackson, we learned that there’s only one counteracting bullet left.” Lydia feels like a bucket of ice has been poured over her but she tries to feign ignorance.

“Then split the powder and use it on both of them.” She pleads, realizing how desperate she’s sounding.

Stiles bites his lips and shakes his head. “You know all of the power has to be used or they’ll both die. Lydia… you gotta choose which one.”

A sob escapes her and she sways on her feet, frantically shaking her head. Stiles catches her by the elbow just as her knees start to buckle.

“Lydia. You’re the only one who can make this choice.”

“Why me?” She breathes, voice hoarse and shaking as much as her body is. She asks even though they all know the answer.

“Because you’re their mate,” Stiles finally says, his fingers gripping her elbow hard enough to bruise but she can’t even feel it. “They’re your mates and we can’t make that call Lydia.”

“Lydia,” Derek’s voice drifts to her and she turns to look at him. He has the door to the examination room pushed open just a bit and is looking at her with mournful eyes. “Come.”

Lydia teeters on her heels, slowly crossing, her breath rattling in her chest. She doesn’t want to go into the room, dreads it with everything in her. But she still walks on.

She pauses briefly beside Derek but then he’s laying a comforting and firm hand between her shoulder blades and ushers her inside.

A quiet, anguished noise leaves her, and if not for Derek’s strong grasp suddenly around her waist she knows she wouldn’t be able to support herself.

Peter and Jackson lay on the cold metal examination tables, sheets drawn up around their waists giving them little to fend off the cold that seems palpable in the room. Her eyes sweep over them, taking in the how pale and waxy their skin looks, how it even has a deathly blue tint to it.

She feels frozen in place, with Derek being the only thing keeping her up. She can’t move forward to her mates, nor can she flee. She feels paralyzed.

Her eyes linger on Jackson first, the closest to her. He clearly is unconscious. His entire body trembles and shake, his breathing shallow and raspy. Her gazes zeros in on the gaping wound at the center of his chest that festers black, deep black veins spreading along his chest.

Lydia feels helpless as she watches her high school sweetheart die right before her eyes.

A deep wet cough rouses her and then she sees that Peter, unlike Jackson, is conscious but just barely. Her feet begin to move and she stumbles, catching herself just before she falls and then she’s beside him.

Peter tries to give her a smile but ends up coughing and wheezing, pain etching deeply onto his face. She steps forward when he raises his hand weakly and she grasps it tightly, bringing it up to her face to limply cup her cheek. His hand is ice cold against her.

“Lydia,” Peter wheezes with great difficulty, black matter seeping from the corner of his mouth and Lydia blinks fast against the fresh wave of tears that begin to fall. It’s then that she takes in his wound. A black oozing hole just below his Adams apple, thick garish spider veins leeching outwards on his throat.

She leans into his touch and drags her eyes away from the wound and sees that he’s watching her.

“Save Jackson.”

Lydia starts to shake her head and she can feel Peter’s thumb stroking her cheek, a trail of tears leaking from the corners of his eyes.

“Don’t leave me….” Lydia whimpers holding onto his hand tightly, not wanting to let go. Peter gives her a watery smile, just a quick upturn of the lips.

“I’ve lived a full life…” Peter starts out, his chest heaving, each breath sending more black matter to seep out of the wound on his throat. “I’ve cheated death twice and found such amazing love…. But I’m tired now Lydia….”

She’s still shaking her head, not wanting to hear what he’s saying. Not wanting to hear his goodbye. Peter tries to laugh but ends up choking for a few agonizing moments. His breath rattles wetly by the end of it.

“It’s the right thing to do love… Let this old man rest in peace.”

Lydia’s face scrunches up as a sob leaves her lips. She doesn’t want this. Thinks that this isn’t how things were supposed to happen. Thinks how she, Peter, and Jackson were supposed to be together forever no matter how naïve it made her sound.

“Lydia we need your choice. Jackson is fading fast.” Deaton says from in between the tables regretfully. She hadn’t even realized he’d been there. She looks up and there Stiles is, retrieving the last bullet from his pocket as well as a zippo lighter.

“Can’t you get more bullets from the Argent’s? Surely they have dozens of those to space! Allison tell them!” Lydia pleads, all but screeching at them as her eyes swing wildly around the room before landing on Allison who presses even closer to Scott’s side, tears trailing down her cheeks.

“I’m afraid they’re fading too fast for that. There isn’t enough time. We have a matter of minutes at best Lydia.” Deaton informs her, his face a mask of neutrality but his deep eyes panicked and pained.

“I can’t,” Lydia whispers, closing her eyes and shaking her head.

“Lydia…”

“No.”

“Lydia..”

“No.”

“Lydia! They’re both going to die if you don’t!” Stiles roars at her and her eyes snap open. He has the decency to look shamed but still continues to bite the end of the bullet like Derek has taught him and then lights it up, leaning away from the tendrils of purple black spark, leaving a fine powder.

“Lydia,” Peter whispers, voice harder to make out this time. She squeezes his hand and looks back down at him. She can see the finality and fear and love and determination in his endless blue eyes. “I love you.”

Lydia’s tears fall like rain and she holds onto him tighter, voice tight and shaking as she replies with, “I love you too, so much.”

Peter then nods, trying his best to swallow even though they all know he really can’t at this point and does his best to nod.

Her knuckles are white as she looks up to Stiles and nods. His hand smashes down onto Jackson’s chest and into the wound. Black smoke sizzles instantly and Jackson bows from the examination table with an agonized roar, the black veins already receding as he begins to heal.

Lydia’s attention turns back to Peter. Their eyes meet and Peter’s breathing turns harsher, more labored.

Her eyes never leaves his, nor does her hand from his, and she’s there for the exact moment the light goes from his eyes and the last rattling breath leaves his chest.

She stares stunned and then crumples atop him, her shill mournful shriek echoing throughout the clinic. She weeps over him, wailing and crying to the point where she can’t draw a proper breath until gentle hands carefully tug her from him.

It takes her a moment to realize it’s Stiles, but it only registers for a moment before she’s sagging against him, openly wailing as Derek, with wet eyes of his own steps forward and scoops his uncle from the table and holds him close.

Lydia tries to follow after Derek when he turns and leave the room with Peter, but Stiles holds tight to her. When the door swings shut she crumples to the floor and one by one the pack gathers in close on the ground with them, surrounding Lydia and giving her light comforting touches as she cries. All of the wolves baying mournfully, a sound caught just between the howl of an actual wolf and the sound of a weeping mortal.

When Jackson wakes, Lydia launches herself at him, her arms circling around his neck and doesn’t let go. Only holding on tighter as the pack explains to him Peter’s sacrifice.

The beta doesn’t even try to shed manly tears. He holds on tight to Lydia and the tears pour like rain from him.

The others stand off quietly to the side. None of them knowing how to help. None of them knowing  or understanding the pain of losing a mate.

It’s a week later that Lydia finally comes to peace with her decision. Her head lays back against Jackson’s shoulder, her back to his front as they lounge under the great tree in the middle of the Hale property where Derek buried Peter.

She closes her eyes and sighs as the sunlight that filters down from the tree limbs warms her face. A light breeze washes over them and at first she misses it until the ghost of awareness prickles her scalp.

Her eyes stay closed but she feels the warmth envelope her, warmth that is not Jackson’s alone. It’s more and smells of leather and spearmint and of the earth and is purely Peter.

A tear rolls down her cheek but she is smiling and Jackson holds her closer to his chest, knowing that something with her has shifted but doesn’t say anything.

She keeps smiling, the warmth like a gentle caress to her mind.

It’s then that she knows that even in death Peter will never truly be gone from her.

**Author's Note:**

> comments and kudos are love.  
> I highly recommend you looking for GeeGollyWiz13's fic seeing as we both challenged each other to see how we could each write something like this.


End file.
